Diet
Summer is coming, the weather is nice (well, sort of). I want to put my sweaters in the attic and wear only light summer clothes.
But there's a problem : my summer clothes have this bad habit to shrink when I leave them in a drawer for a few months.
I have never been skinny. Except when I was an infant, then my whole family worried because I was so small and skinny. So they tried to fatten me up. They succeeded!
My grandmother is the worst. She always uses guilt to force everyone to over-eat. "Why don't you eat? Isn't it good? You must eat, I don't want any left-overs! I'll have to throw it away and I don't like to waste food! Finish it, now!" And that's when she doesn't start talking about all these people who are starving, and we should be grateful for this food instead of picking at our plates. At that point, we know we'd better hurry up and eat what's in our plate if we don't want to hear about World War II and the few years that followed.
Anyway, with everyone pressuring me to eat, the skinny baby quickly turned into a plump girl ; and so they started pressuring me to lose weight. But keep on eating what people put in my plate.
I remember my first diet when I was about ten or eleven ; actually, it was not really my diet, it was my mom's, but she wasn't going to cook for me when she was on her diet, so for two or three days I ate exactly the same thing as my mom : plain yoghurt and tomatoes, period. I was also allowed to drink water and to put some salt on my tomatoes if I wanted to. How lucky!
Eighteen years later, I still frown when I see some plain yoghurt in my fridge. I like it, I know I do, but I just can't bring myself to eat it. The stupid thing is that, since I know I like it, I buy some every week. And if my girlfriend doesn't eat it, I throw it away.
As I grew older, I tried almost every magical diet I could read about in magazines. I gained a few pounds after each of them. Then, three years ago I decided to quit smoking. I gained weight immediately, so after a few months I decided to start smoking again. It was stupid, the weight I had gained remained were it was, and I gained some more when I quit smoking again!
Recently, I've decided not to diet, but to "be careful". I cook lighter meals, I do everything I can, and don't seem to lose a pound. My girlfriend, who keeps on eating junkfood for lunch while I'm eating salad, has already lost six or seven pounds.
It's so unfair!
But there's a problem : my summer clothes have this bad habit to shrink when I leave them in a drawer for a few months.
I have never been skinny. Except when I was an infant, then my whole family worried because I was so small and skinny. So they tried to fatten me up. They succeeded!
My grandmother is the worst. She always uses guilt to force everyone to over-eat. "Why don't you eat? Isn't it good? You must eat, I don't want any left-overs! I'll have to throw it away and I don't like to waste food! Finish it, now!" And that's when she doesn't start talking about all these people who are starving, and we should be grateful for this food instead of picking at our plates. At that point, we know we'd better hurry up and eat what's in our plate if we don't want to hear about World War II and the few years that followed.
Anyway, with everyone pressuring me to eat, the skinny baby quickly turned into a plump girl ; and so they started pressuring me to lose weight. But keep on eating what people put in my plate.
I remember my first diet when I was about ten or eleven ; actually, it was not really my diet, it was my mom's, but she wasn't going to cook for me when she was on her diet, so for two or three days I ate exactly the same thing as my mom : plain yoghurt and tomatoes, period. I was also allowed to drink water and to put some salt on my tomatoes if I wanted to. How lucky!
Eighteen years later, I still frown when I see some plain yoghurt in my fridge. I like it, I know I do, but I just can't bring myself to eat it. The stupid thing is that, since I know I like it, I buy some every week. And if my girlfriend doesn't eat it, I throw it away.
As I grew older, I tried almost every magical diet I could read about in magazines. I gained a few pounds after each of them. Then, three years ago I decided to quit smoking. I gained weight immediately, so after a few months I decided to start smoking again. It was stupid, the weight I had gained remained were it was, and I gained some more when I quit smoking again!
Recently, I've decided not to diet, but to "be careful". I cook lighter meals, I do everything I can, and don't seem to lose a pound. My girlfriend, who keeps on eating junkfood for lunch while I'm eating salad, has already lost six or seven pounds.
It's so unfair!
posted by eloine at 2:47 AM
2 Comments:
Oh, Eloine. You have always been my "hot French friend". The only difference since I saw you last is that now you're my "hot French lesbian friend". It's not the smoking and quitting that made you gain wieght, it was becoming a lesbian. I am certain that it's a universal truth that when women couple with other women, this "who needs a man" gene kicks in and they put on a few pounds. So don't worry, it's not your fault. Just remember: it's not fat, it's more cushion for the pushin'. ;)
Can't wait to see you soon!
I can't wait, either!
But you won't fool me, Heater, I know that my extra pounds have more to do with eating too much junk food than with being a lesbian!
You're just trying to find a good excuse for smoking again!!! But we both know that smoking or not, you'll never need a diet, anyway!
Post a Comment
<< Home